fluff the world up
by ThanksIllPass
Summary: deadpool tries really hard to fluff


I did angst last time and tumblr people were yelling and i needed to make fluff to say sorry ha

* * *

„What do you think you're doing, Peter?"

"I'm _bleeding_?"

Wade glances at the back of Peter's head, wet and slick from blood, and scowls.

"No, no, no, that's not how it's supposed to be, Peter, it was supposed to be a fluffy fic! _Fluffy_! Not angsty! No blood! Bad Peter!"

**You told him, Wade-o!**

_That's how you talk to dogs, not spiders. Does anyone know how you train spiders?_

**I think they made a movie about it…**

_It was "How to Train Your _Dragon_."_

**Oh. Huh. What an awesome title for a porno.**

_Do you think there is a porno of that?_

**Rule 34.**

_Gasp! I wouldn't even go near it._

**You would. And you would get nice and horny for me to-**

"Would you two stop it already?! Fluff! Not smut! Fluff! How am I supposed to work with these incompetent cretins."

Wade rolls his eyes and Peter manages a smile which quickly turns into a wince.

"Temporarily ignoring the sheer craziness that is you talking to yourself, I didn't know you knew such words, Wade. I'm impressed. Been eavesdropping during my fights with Doc Oc?"

**That reminds me, did you make sure it's even Peter? Could be that fat tentacle porn maniac.**

"I never remember if hitting our head against the wall works to shut you up."

_Shutting up now._

"Is that how you talk to an injured person? Your injured _boyfriend_?"

"I wasn't talking to you, baby boy. Now shut up, I'm thinking."

_Oh boy…_

"If I wasn't bleeding to death I would smack you into next week, Wade, I'm serious, you insensitive asshole."

"Do you mind smacking me into the next page? Maybe there will be some clues on how to make this, this _mess_ into a fluffy fic."

"What the hell is a fluffy fic? Were you searching for cooking recipes on Hello Kitty forums again?"

"What? Jesus Christ, Pete, no! Who do you take me for? I only go there for frilly dresses designs, sheesh."

Peter can't suppress a bark of laughter and soon starts couching. Blood. Wade takes his own head into his hands and falls down to his knees next to Peter. Peter is pale and looks like he lost more blood than he initially had in his body. His eyes are dim and unfocused. Wade gasps dramatically.

"Where did we all go wrong?! Where?! Peter, are you going to die? She already wrote one where you're dead. Maybe she liked it. Maybe she'll keep killing you forever now! I wish you would give in to a little bit of drama yourself, Spidey, because I am a diva, alright, but this is by no means a one man's show."

"Wade, I'm cold. Kiss me."

**Oh wow, it worked! Thanks, crazy lonely cat lady!**

_It was sarcasm, you moron._

"Ew no, you're mouth is all bloody."

"_Excuse me?_ Fine. Kiss me, Wade Wilson, right here, right now, or you will never see me naked again!"

"Dude, you're dying, I doubt I will ever see you naked again anyway."

"You better pray I _do_ die, dickhead. Now get out of my way, I'm going to Matt."

Wade's hands clutch at his chest, a wounded expression on his face. Peter manages to stand up and starts wobbling along the alley wall. He doesn't look half as half-dead as when he was half-dying. Cheater. Wade scrambles to follow.

"How can _he_ help you?! He's _blind_!"

"Maybe he'll kiss it better. Since you clearly don't want to."

"I want to! Just… not when you're so gross."

"If you can't handle me at my bleeding from my mouth you don't deserve me at my willing to have acrobatic shower sex."

"Are we bantering because girls like it or are we actually talking about our relationship issues?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

"I'm seriously considering knocking you out and starting this at a completely different scene. Maybe me making you chicken soup when you recover from your head injury. That would be fluffy. What do you think?"

"What is it with you and this fluff?!"

_Cheesy, but will do._

**Just don't put Whitney Huston on and we'll be peachy.**

"Not _you_! You wouldn't know romance if it crawled up your butt and went all the way up to try to eat your brain. The world is such a sad place, Peter! Pain everywhere! People killing their loved ones and keeping their bodies, people having hallucinations to cope with being mercilessly tortured! The world needs more fluff! Happiness! Nice feelings! Beautiful and heroic displays of affection! Hugs and kisses!_Fluff_!"

Peter suddenly loses balance but Wade catches him just in time. Peter looks really bad. Wade completely forgot to worry from all this. He lifts Peter and carries him out of the alley, bridal style. Fluffiness not intended, but appreciated. Peter sighs and slumps his head on Wade's shoulder.

"I don't think I'm doing so well, Wade."

"I know, sweetums, I know. I'm gonna take you to Matt now. I'm sorry I was such a douche."

"It's okay. I knew what I was getting into. It's okay. I love you."

"Oh, Petey, don't say that _now_, it will give people the wrong idea! You're not dying! We'll be at Matt's in no time."

"I'm cold though."

"You're actually really hot, do you want a mirror? Come on, Pete. Laugh. It was funny."

"Ha, ha."

"That's the spirit!"

Peter smiles and tightens his hold on Wade's neck, as much as his strength allows him to. Wade squeezes back and kisses Peter's bloody hair.

"Oh, what the hell. I had worse things in my mouth."

He stops in front of Matt's building. He lifts Peter's chin gently and kisses his lips. He can feel them curling up when Peter smiles into the kiss. Peter touches Wade's cheek, weakly scraping it with his nails as he kisses back. Wade pulls back and enters the building, forcing a whiny comment on the amount of stairs back down his throat. Peter chuckles softly and smiles.

"That was fluffy."

"Nailed it."


End file.
